“While doing research, a group of young geniuses accidentally stumbles upon a secret terrorist plot to create a time machine to go back in time and change history.”

You have no idea how fast I raced to Tubi and watched this.

They’re not just changing history. They’re sending a military force back in time to kill Jesus before he can be crucified.

Or let’s let director and writer Jim Carroll explain the plot: “Extremists use a time machine to go back and commit the ultimate jihad of killing Jesus and the Disciples before the Resurrection. The young geniuses who created time travel must go back in time, dodge the assassins, interact with Bible characters, and make the corrections before the timeline overrides itself and starts the apocalypse.”

Ram Goldstein (Morgan Roberts), Amy Lee (Ilsa Levine), Simon (Lamar Usher) and Felix (Cesar D’ La Torre) are all working for Ahmed (Gerardo Davila), who wants more than just revenge for losing his wife and kids. As part of a radical terrorist Muslim group, he wants to be part of a global Jihad by creating a time machine that will go back in time to 33 A.D. and letting Brandt (Donny Boaz), a man who has lost his family in a car accident, lead a team of black ops killers to shoot Jesus, retroactively destroying Christianity and by extension, stopping God’s plan of salvation for humanity.

What I saw was Black Easter, the reworked version that also somehow features Heidi Montag. Or maybe I saw the director’s cut. I did not see the original version or the first title, Resurrection Time Conspiracy.

Man, I have no idea how to even explain so much of this to you, but let’s use TV Tropes for some help. 

“In the first time jump, Brandt and his platoon arrive at the Gethsemane garden and succeed in terminating Jesus Christ and all His disciples for good measure.”

This is one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie, as a whole unit of modern mercs just unleashes Call of Duty chaos on the Son of Man.

“While Ram and Amy try to undo it by traveling back to before Ahmed killed his parents, they end up right in Ahmed’s clutches as it was Daylight Savings Time and get killed while trying to warn their past selves about Ahmed’s true intentions.”

That’s right. These guys are smart enough to build a time machine, but dumb enough not to think of Daylight Savings.

Ahmed is one of the meanest movie villains I’ve ever seen. Once Ram learns that he’s evil, Ahmed brings in Ram’s parents and kills them in front of him. Then he tells him to finish the time machine so he can go back in time and save them. 

This is where I should remind you that Jesus is considered a holy man, but not a prophet, in Islam. He’s not an enemy of Islam.

So after all manner of main characters dying over and over and so many time loops, Ram goes back in time dressed as a traffic guard before he and Amy travel back to Lab 19 and get killed by Ahmed. That said, Ram resurrects himself and takes a dying Amy to a hospital 30 in the future, except, well — the future is the Great Tribulation. The Black Easter cut reveals that Ahmed used the DNA sample he collected from Jesus’ body to make an evil clone of Him, who came to be known as The Antichrist.”

I was amazed. This went there.

This is a movie that has Simon, the only black scientist, sound like Chris Tucker, spoil Jesus’ Passion to Him and then say, “I’m from the future. And I’ve seen your movie. I got it on bootleg. Forgive me, Lord, I’m sorry.”

Yet the production values are excellent, seriously. This is such a wild time-travel movie that I’d love to recommend to more people, but it’s so over the top in its hatred of Muslims that I have no idea how I could. Simon, being Simon of Cyrene, who carried Jesus’ cross? That’s the kind of Christian continuity that I need in these films. And why is Ahmed so happy that the world he wanted is obviously unlivable? So many questions.

That said, I really think everyone should see this movie. It’s something.

You can watch this on Tubi.