EDITOR’S NOTE: Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold was on USA Up All Night on January 31, 1998.

I’m sure you’ve seen Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, but this has ten more feet on that.

Inga (Raelyn Saalman), Betty (Tammy Parks) and Angel Grace (J. J. North) are the three finalists for Plaything’s Centerfold of the Year, which finds Angel heading to Dr. Lindstrom (John LaZar) to continue beauty treatments that he’s already told her could be dangerous. But when the first new dose makes her breasts grow, why would she stop?

After sleeping with the magazine’s photographer, Angel forgets to take a dose and sees wrinkles, so she starts taking beyond her prescription. This causes her to grow, as you can expect, into the titular 60-foot centerfold.

With a cast that includes Tommy Kirk, Michele Bauer, Ross Hagen, George Stover, Stanley Livingston and Russ Tamblyn, this movie delivers what you expect: two centerfolds brawling in the middle of Los Angeles, but giant ones, and then a doctor gets speared with a big needle, which is kind of what you really, really wanted.

The urge to be beautiful is strong. When left unchecked, you end up really tall. There’s a moral somewhere.