Why does Popeye need revenge?

Along with Popeye the Slayer Man and Shiver Me Timbers, this is what happens when a property goes into the public domain.

ITN also made the Twisted Childhood Universe — Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, its sequel, Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare and Bambi: The Reckoning — which reimagine your favorite storybooks as slashers. This is the same thing, with Johnny (Steven Murphy) popping out a bully’s eyes and getting the name Popeye and…man, I can make it through all the Amityville films and the Popeye and Mickey Mouse movies may be the end of me.

Olive (Kelly Rian Sanson) is Popeye’s sister in this, and final girl Tara (Emily Mogilner) kills her and Popeye, dispatching the sailor with a lawnmower because, well, look, I got nothing.

Did director William Stead and writer Harry Boxley ever see a single Popeye cartoon? Ah, Boxley also made Mouse of Horrors and Cinderella’s Curse. It all makes sense now.

Look, I love a slasher. I just want people to consider, if they’re going to take a public domain property and make a movie, maybe they can make something different. But no, Popeye and Mickey Mouse are monstrous death machines, and in 2026, Pluto the dog, Betty Boop and Nancy Drew’s story “The Secret of the Old Clock” will all be killing people too.

You can watch this on Tubi.