WEIRD WEDNESDAY: The Animals (1971)

Also known as Five Savage Men, this starts with everyone on a stagecoach being killed, other than schoolteacher Alice McAndrew (Michele Carey, The Choirboys), who is assaulted and left for dead by Pudge Elliot (Keenan Wynn) and his henchmen, who include Peyote (Joe Turkel, not tending bar for Jack Nicholson) and Jamie (Pepper Martin). I mean, they crucify her to the ground in the desert before they do it and I get it, it’s a revengeomatic, but in the ways of Michael Winner — this was directed by Ron Joy and written by Richard Bakalyan — that assault goes on so long that we begin to feel complicit in it.

After they depart, Native American Chatto (Henry Silva, who was Sicilian and Spanish) rescues her — why didn’t he jump in sooner? — and not only brings her back to health, he also teaches her how to kill and becomes her lover, which seems kind of odd, but what do I know?

The law, led by Sheriff Allan Pierce (John Anderson), thinks Chatto is behind all of this. You can see where that is going. What you won’t expect is an acid rock soundtrack by Rupert Holmes, who had two hit songs about cheating, “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and “Him.” I never knew that he created the AMC series Remember WENN.

You can watch this on Tubi.