Director Marcel Walz’s Blood Feast remake has a thankless task. Technically, it’s automatically a better-made movie than the original Blood Feast. But it’s not a better movie. Does that make sense?

Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler), his wife Louise (Caroline Williams) and daughter Penny (Sophie Monk) have moved to Paris and opened the Ramses American Diner. But the restaurant isn’t a success and he has to work nights at an Egyptian museum, so as you figure will happen, he gets obsessed by Ishtar and makes a feast for her. A feast of people!

Rusler is a really nice guy — he tells great stories in person — but it’s hard to accept anyone else as Faud other than Mal Arnold. Rusler gives it his all, but again, this is thankless work.

We expect things to be cheap and slapdash in the world of Blood Feast instead of slick. Or vanilla. This is based on a movie where a man tore out a woman’s tongue and caressed it on camera. You expect more and don’t get it. It’s certainly well-made, but that’s what I want. I want to throw up in my mouth. At least Herschell Gordon Lewis shows up as an Egyptology expert.

The Synapse 4K UHD release of Blood Feast comes with extras including an Indiegogo promotional trailer, a theatrical trailer, a making of, a music video for Chilli Con Curtis’ “Tonite,” footage of the premiere and a scare cam. You can get it from MVD.