The birthday celebration for a renowned Mediterranean artist is cut short when the guest of honor winds up dead.

Season 1, Episode 14: Paint Me a Murder (February 17, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Diego Santana (Caesar Romero), Jessica’s old friend, has his life threatened when she comes to visit. She is Death!

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Obviously, Romero was the Joker on TV’s Batman and appeared in movies like Ocean’s Eleven, tons of TV and Latitude Zero.

His wife, Margo, is Cristina Raines, who was in Nashville and The Sentinel.

Fernando Allende plays his son Miguel, who was a big star in Latin America.

Judy Geeson is Elaine McComber. She was in Nightmare Hotel.

Belle Chaney is played by Capucine, who was in the Pink Panther movies, but is also in Lamberto Bava’s Delirium.

William Kaufmann? That’s Robert Goulet! GOULET!

Sir John Landry is played by Stewart Granger, who was in The Wild Geese and the original King Solomon’s Mines.

Stefan Conrad is Steven Keats, who was in Black Sunday and Death Wish.

The law in this one, Inspector Henry Kyle, is Ron Moody from Oliver!

Antonio is Pepe Hern and Rosa is Alma Beltran.

What happens?

Diego Santana is about to turn sixty, but he has a young wife, a friendly ex-wife and a great family. And oh yeah, he’s friends with Jessica, so he’s about to die. Also, Romero was 78 when this was made, but he looks great.

Diego thinks he’s about to be killed, and he warns Jessica, but yeah, he dies. Are you surprised? Well, it could be anyone: his son Miguel, who is stealing his paintings; his ex-wife Bella and pal Stefan, who is trying to get with Margo, Diego’s young wife.

Whoever did it really did it — with a crossbow! And they also try to set a shed on fire and kill Margo!

Who did it?

Sir John, who needs money, thinks that his paintings will be worth more if Diego dies.

Who made it?

TV movie king John Llewellyn Moxey directed this episode, which was written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

Not now, but soon. When Jessica leaves, she tells Inspector Kyle that she plans to stop in England to see a cousin and that she could perhaps find time to see him. He tells her he’ll be waiting at the gate with a bouquet of flowers: “I shall be at the airport to greet you. Flowers in hand, heart on sleeve, and perhaps a murder to solve?”

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

Yes. This has another great cast and a good whodunnit.

Any trivia?

This was filmed at Arden Villa, the Dynasty Mansion, in Pasadena, California. It also appears in four more episodes.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Diego Santana: Bravo, Pedro. Ohh. The finest donkey I’ve ever seen. I think, perhaps, uh, the legs are a bit short, huh?

What’s next?

A private detective, hired by Jessica to research an old case, is suddenly murdered.