When Jessica’s recently widowed niece takes a cruise to get away from it all, a would-be murderer follows her.

Season 1, Episode 13: My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean (February 10, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica’s niece Pamela has just gotten out of a mental hospital after her husband, Johnny, killed himself. Maybe a cruise will help get her mind right. Or maybe someone will die, seeing as how Jessica is there.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Jessica’s niece, Pamela Crane, is Belinda Montgomery. She starred in the TV movie The Devil’s Daughter and the slasher film Silent Madness.

Her father — and Jessica’s brother — Dr. Marshall MacGill is Jason Evers from Claws and The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

Wacky singles Phoebe Carroll and Carla Raymond are Vicki Lawrence (Mama!) and Jo Anne Worley.

Paul Carafotes plays Ramon, the steward.

Dr. Andrea Jeffreys Reed is Rosemary Forsyth, who was in What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice.

Diane Shelley? That’s Lynda Day George! Christopher George’s wife, she’s in Pieces, Mortuary, Beyond Evil, Day of the Animals and the original Mission: Impossible.

Captain Daniels is Leslie Neilsen. Perhaps you’ve heard of him.

In smaller roles, Andrew Parks plays Russell Tompkins, Lawrence Pressman plays George Reed, Don Dubbins plays Dr. Carmichael, Byron Webster plays the maitre d, Michael G. Hawkins plays Dr. Ross, Don Matheson plays a cowboy, Kay Freeman plays a nurse and Mark Pilon and George Marshall Ruge play ship officers. Passengers are played by John Arndy, Lyle Howry, Linda and Shirley Lang and Steve Wagner.

What happens?

Pamela isn’t over her husband, who had money troubles and was adopted. But it gets worse — she keeps hearing someone calling her name, using the nickname that only her husband knew: Pepper.

Yes, we have a giallo on Murder, She Wrote.

Things get weirder because Pamela is even served a dish her husband invented that no one else should know about. Meanwhile, Jessica keeps trying to set her up with someone new. There’s also the Reeds, who seem to be trying to use the cruise to fix their marriage.

Then, someone with her husband’s voice shoves Pamela down the steps.

Luckily, the captain steps in and he’s Leslie Nielsen. Jessica is also on the case, learning that Johnny’s birth mother made contact with him before he died.

Speaking of death, Mrs. Reed is now dead and her husband seems like the suspect. Or maybe she just loved drinking and sleeping pills together. Lots of them.

Who did it?

Of course, as you guessed, George Reed killed his wife, who was really Johnny’s mother. I guess he learned all the secrets about her son from her? We never get that answer, so the entire ghost stalking of Pamela seems like all red herrings.

Who made it?

Seymour Robbie was the director. His career included TV shows, including Father Dowling Mysteries, Matlock, which had 21 episodes, and plenty more examples of episodic TV. The series was written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

Oh yes. Not only does Ramon offer to teach her several dances and pretty much tell her that he’s there to give her her groove back, but Leslie Nielsen at the end tells her that he has some time off after this voyage is done and that he knows plenty of incredible places to eat. Oh man, he’s totally hot dipping the meat flute and inspiring several more books.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

Yes! She pretends that she’s drunk and it’s so fake that you have to wonder how anyone else would believe it. No one has ever been this drunk or acted this way. You’ll forget that Angela Lansbury could act! She did the same thing in Death On the Nile, so there’s that.

Was it any good?

I mean, look at the cast. This is one of my top episodes, even if it doesn’t make sense in the end. Who cares! Lynda Day George is in it!

Any trivia?

This was filmed on the RMS Queen Mary.

Much of this is based on Gaslight, Angela Lansbury’s first acting role.

This is the first episode in which we learn that Jessica’s maiden name is MacGill, which is based on her mother’s stage name, Moyna MacGill.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Captain Daniels: And to make amends, I would, uh, I happen to know of a magnificent little restaurant here in port, and, uh, would you, uh… would you do me the honor of dining with me this evening?

Jessica Fletcher: Well, uh, that depends. Uh, you’re not planning to show me your hootchy-kootchy, are you?

Captain Daniels: Definitely not… Oh!

What’s next?

The birthday celebration for a renowned Mediterranean artist is cut short when the guest of honor winds up dead.