April 12: 412 Day — A movie about Pittsburgh (if you’re not from here that’s our area code). Or maybe one made here. Heck, just write about Striking Distance if you want.

Yes, Whispers in the Dark is mostly shot in New York City, but there are scenes shot in Pittsburgh, and that’s good enough. I wish I could tell you it was a Yinzer Giallo, but no. It’s close to real Giallo, but it has no Iron City, no one goes to eat at Primanti Brothers or walks past the Kaufmann’s clock.

Directed and written by Christopher Crowe (who also wrote the Marky Mark goes crazy movie Fear), this has Annabella Sciorra as Ann Hecker, a psychiatrist who gets obsessed over a patient, Eve Abergray (Deborah Unger, who A.C. Nicholas told me has never not been nude in a film and reminded me again of the beginning of Crash), who makes every man around her want to dominate her sexually. Like, totally nice guys suddenly become sexist and want to slap her around like she’s Barbara Bouchet or something.

Ann wants that life now and gets so upset that she confides in her teachers, the married couple Leo and Sarah Green (Alan Alda and Jill Clayburgh). She also starts dating a new guy, Doug McDowell (Jamey Sheridan), a former Air Force pilot.

But let’s get back to Eve, who comes into their next session, takes off her dress, and tells Ann how much she wants to jill off in front of her. Is Ann having a fantasy? Why doesn’t she react? How freakish is Eve? And is she also with Doug because she claims the lover who treats her the worst is Francis Douglas McDowell?

This leads to Doug and Ann fighting, which Eve sees and realizes they’re dating. She accuses Ann of living out her fantasies by going after someone she dated. And then, when Ann comes to apologize, Eve is dead at her own hand. Or maybe not, as Detective Morgenstern (Antony LaPaglia) says that she was murdered.

Is this a Giallo? Yes, we already went over that.

Who killed Eve? One of her patients, Fast Johnny C. (John Leguizamo)? Ann? Doug? Well, it’s probably not Johnny, who breaks into Ann’s place and ends up jumping to his death, just like Ann’s dad. Then, Doug is in a hangar with the detective’s dead body, but he gets hit by a car. This is filled with red herrings.

Gene Siskell said this was the worst movie of 1992, so you know I loved every minute.

You’ll ask, “Can the think woman’s sex symbol be a psycho sexual killer?” Look, he’s no Ivan Rassimov, but if you got this far, spoilers — he’s the one who beats his wife with a wine bottle and talks filthy in that Alan Alda voice you know so well. For that moment alone at the end, when he gets a hook right through his skull and he takes a bump into the surf, you probably should watch this.