Directed by Jonas McCord (he directed Paul Hardcastle’s video for “19” and wrote Malice) and written by Shel Willens, “Revenge Is the Nuts” is about a home for the blind. There, owner Arnie Grunwald (Anthony Zerbe) makes life horrible for the patients — Samuel, Armelia and Osgood (Isaac Hayes, Bibi Besch, and Tim Sampson) — but promises to make things better if new patient Sheila (Teri Polo) sleeps with him. By treating them bad, I mean that he has a maze constructed to confuse them and laughs when they slip on marbles, not to mention the enormous dog he threatens them with. He doesn’t even treat his brother, Benny (John Savage), like a human being and may have killed their mother.

“Thanks, pal. For nothing! (to the viewers) I tell you, kiddies. Things are tough all over. What with my hack-spenses going up, and suddenly finding out I owe the Die-RS a fortune, your pal the Crypt Keeper’s had to find himself a second chop. Still, it’s worse for the people in tonight’s terror tale. It concerns a group of inmates at the local home who’ve got a few horrid choices of their own to make. I call it: “Revenge is the Nuts.””

This being a Tales from the Crypt story, he’s about to pay for his sins. And by paying for his sins, he will be blinded and locked into the same maze that he’s put his patients through. This gets in a cute Tales line where Hayes complains he’s been “shafted.”

This episode is based on “Blind Alleys” from Tales from the Crypt #45. As you probably know, this is the same story that’s adapted in the Amicus Tales from the Crypt movie. Also, you know that I prefer that version, right?