Directed by Jag Mundhra and written by Tom Citrano and Andrew Stevens, Night Eyes was inspired by Stevens meeting a woman whose house was shadowed by her soon-to-be ex, a rock star. Rod Stewart is the rumored cucked man, so the woman could be Alana Hamilton Stewart, Kelly Emberg or Britt Ekland; way to go, Andrew Stevens. As Stevens walked around the house, he ran into a security guard who handed him his card, which read “Night Eyes Security.” This inspired the actor to make this groundbreaking — well, money-making, at least — effort.

Will Griffith (Stevens) has been hired by British musician Brian Walker (Warwick Sims), who is in the middle of a divorce from his wife, Nikki (Tanya Roberts). According to her angry ex, he’s to use his cameras to record the house and catch her in the act with the lovers she must have. The more time Will spends around her — and watching her — he starts to fall for her and become protective. You know the film noir story, but this is 1990, and in the world of VHS and cable erotic thrillers, this was one of the first to become big business.

There is only one other critic review on IMDB, and of course, it’s from The Schlock Pit. They understand its value, at least to the canon of the genre, saying, “Plodding and clumsy, Night Eyes is more interesting for its historical value than it is to actually experience. Essentially ground zero for the straight-to-video erotic thriller…”

Like all the best noir, this proves that women are wise, men are stupid and that any red-blooded male can be enticed by Tanya Roberts and really, who can say anything bad about that? People murder for all kinds of reasons. At least this one seems pleasurable.

Yes, this is a clunker, but the three sequels? That’s the kind of erotic thriller I’m here for.