Directed by Chun-Ku Lu, this is a movie that I described to my wife as a psychedelic drug film that is also a martial arts epic and at times, feels like it has the colors of an Italian movie. You remember how Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon make people go nuts when they saw it? Could you imagine the uninitiated going directly into this, mainlining it into their eyes and trying to keep their sanity?

Keep in mind that this was made completely with physical tricks and what special effects were available in Hong Kong in 1983 and then be amazed that no computer touched this.

Yin Tien-Chou (Max Mok) and his sister Tu Chuan-erh (Ching-Ching Yeung) lost their parents when they were just born, thanks to their murder at the hands of Tsing Yin (Leanne Lau) and Monster Yu (Jason Pai), who wanted the Holy Flames, two swords that make people unstoppable. Our heroes have been split up ever since, with “The Phantom” You-ming Elder (Phillip Kwok) raising Yin Tien-Chou and Tsing Yin teaching Tu Chuan-erh, so while the two start on opposite sides, they soon learn that the Holy Flames can only be handled by twins who are male and female, like them. Also, You-ming Elder just sits in lotus position and laughs his head off for most of the movie and I would love to hang out all the time with him.

This has it all and by all, I mean finger lasers, flying fights, a Snake Boy, a mummy, ghosts. vampire blood sects, female fighters devoted to maintaining their virginity, enough wire work for a hundred movies and colors so neon and garish that Mario Bava looking down from Paradise and said, “Wow. That’s really bright.”

When I watch movies like this, I start to wonder if I should ever watch another film afterward. They are too perfect and that nothing will be better than what I have just seen.