EDITOR’S NOTE: He’s My Girl was on the CBS Late Movie on March 9, 1990.

David Hallyday was born in France as the son of singers Sylvie Vartan and Johnny Hallyday and became a star in Europe before he was signed to Scotti Brothers. The Scotti Brothers movie division decided to put him in one of their movies. After all, they had already named another of their films, Lady Beware, after one of his songs. Or maybe he wrote a song with that name. But hey — he has a song in that Pittsburgh-made American giallo. This would be the third Scotti Brothers movie I’ve seen — along with Eye of the Tiger — named for a song by one of their music artists.

There is no song for In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro.

There is a David Halladay song, “He’s My Girl.”

“Thought it was love for the first time
Did not know what I had in store
Big arms, big legs, big feet
But I could not see
Just what she hid behind her door

And my heart stopped
And my blood pressure dropped
Oh what a shock
You know he’s my girl
I’m a good man
So when she held my hand
That’s when I knew
That he’s my girl”

Hallyday plays a singer named Bryan, who wins a contest to go to Los Angeles. He wants to bring his best friend and manager Reggie (T. K. Carter, Nauls from The Thing), but has to bring a girl with him. Seeing as how it’s 1987 and no one would be upset by this or too smart to not make a movie about it, Reggie becomes Regina and shocks everyone in L.A. that people in Missouri can date across the color line.

Reggie falls for music assistant Tasha (Misha McK), who is trying to keep metal dude Simon Sledge (Warwick Sims) in line. As for Bryan, he falls for sculptor Lisa (Jennifer Tilly) who shows up on a motorcycle and kept me from fast forwarding through this movie.

Reggie/Regina is at once Flip Wilson’s Geraldine, the Three Stooges and Jerry Lewis, down to doing dialogue from them. As for Bryan, he’s a French singer trying to play an American innocent.

Everything you think will happen happens. Will evil music manager Mason Morgan (David Clennon) fall for Regina, despite being super racist? Will 80s hot tub girl Becky LeBeau show up? Will everyone end up happy after some confusion?

This was directed by Gabrielle Beaumont, one of the first women to break through and direct American prime time TV. She worked on everything from Baywatch and Melrose Place to Miami Vice, Dynasty, Hart to Hart and Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus. She also directed Death of a Centerfold: The Dorothy Stratten Story and The Godsend.

He’s My Girl was written by Charles F. Bohl (Swimfan), Taylor Ames, Myrica Taylor, Terence H. Winkless (who wrote The Howling and directed The Nesting) and Fireside Theater founder Peter Bergman.

As you can imagine, this is the kind of movie that if people saw it today, they’d be enraged. Then again, this is also kind of fan fiction of The Thing, as you get numerous scenes of Palmer sexually harassing Nauls.

Somehow, Scotti Brothers Records were able to get “Mississippi Queen” by Mountain, “Wild Thing” by The Troggs, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones, “Neutron Dance” by The Pointer Sisters and “New Attitude” by Patti LaBelle in this. What was the music budget like?

Of all those songs, “Copper Colored Gal” by Joe Pizzulo — who sang on the Sérgio Mendes songs “Never Gonna Let You Go” and “Alibis” — seems out of place. Yes, I know it’s a Cab Calloway standard, but hearing “Copper, copper, copper, copper colored gal of mine!” as a black man dresses like a woman is a bit disconcerting. 

You can watch this on YouTube.