This movie is under seventy minutes and is packed with so many things that it feels like going to one of those conveyer belt sushi places and being overwhelmed by all the things you want to eat and then trying to remember all of the ingredients.

Lawrence Orlovsky (Allan Berendt) and his wife Regina Dracula (Hope Stansbury), along with their staff of Carrie (Patti Gaul) , Orlando (Michael Fischetti) and Carlotta (Pichulina Hempi) have moved into a mansion sight unseen, but these things are necessary as Regina has a blood condition that demands constant injections. Also: Lawrence is growing a monstrous plant in his lab.

There are also human monsters as well, like lawyer Carl Root (John Wallowitch), who is stealing the money from the Orlovsky estate. That’s when we learn that Lawrence is really Larry Talbot and yes, you’d have to watch some monster movies to realize he’s a wolfman. Then there’s Jimmy (David Bevans), back in town to romance his sister Carrie. I mean, he’s there for about five minutes before Regina kills him with a meat cleaver to the head and dissolves him in acid.

For some other reason, Lawrence and Root’s secretary Prudence Towers (Pamela Adams) have an affair that only can happen in a cemetery guarded by Petra (Eve Crosby), who decides to blackmail the family and is also destroyed by Regina. And then, as one imagines, werewolf and vampire must battle within the burning home as we crawl to the credits.

This is a movie that mentions time more than once. The leg-free Orlando says that “Time is a dictator. You must follow him or you’ll be left behind.” while Jimmy, in the middle of necking with his sister, is more optimistic, as he opines, “As one grows older, time becomes a pussycat.”

At one point, Regina tells her husband, “Oh, go to hell.” He replies, “We’re there already.” Even in a world of werewolves, vampires, legs being operated on with steak knives, plants that eat people and long bloodlines of monsters, the greatest monsters are marriage and family.

This played double features with Gerard Damiano’s Legacy Of Satan and man, I can’t even imagine what audiences were like after sitting through both of these movies.

I like this movie so much I wrote about it twice.