DISMEMBERCEMBER: Santa’s Christmas Circus (1966)

From 1953 to 1987, Frank Wiziarde played Whizzo the clown on TV stations in Kansas City and Topeka. He and his family had had their own traveling act, the Wiziarde Novelty Circus, so he had some level of big top know-how. None of this comes out in this film, which he directed and by that he set the camera up and just started talking. And talking.

Whizzo may be in the middle of a nervous breakdown during this because he keeps babbling about all of his problems and I know its Christmas but man, the dude just keeps talking about all the things he’s worrying about and then they bring in some kids and he asks where their circus outfits are and then he makes a kid dress like a lion and then he narrates some department store windows, all the while a child is literally dying from a horrific cough.

This is an hour long and even a trip to see Santa can’t save it. It’s mind-destroying in how braying Whizzo is and I wonder who was entertained by this.

According to the Kansas Historical Society, “Whizzo jumped out from behind a curtain, tripped over items scattered around his set and sang the song he composed, “Who’s always smiling, never sad? It’s Whizzo!” Whizzo’s set was always filled with props, most of which he made himself. His suitcase contained a number of amusing tricks. Among the animals on the show was “Hissy the Goose,” who would drop down on Whizzo, give him a bump and fly back up. Whizzo pretended not to know what hit him, only to be bumped repeatedly by “Hissy.” It was up to the kids in the studio audience to explain to Whizzo what had happened.”

This is Whizzo’s sad suitcase.

Kansas City Mayor H. Roe Bartle once said “If kids could vote, Whizzo would be mayor of Kansas City.” I see no better argument for never adjusting the voting age.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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