DISMEMBERCEMBER: Falling for Christmas (2022)

Lindsay Lohan was once on top of the world, but over the last few years, her career has struggled. From Georgia Rule all the way back in 2006 up until The CanyonsLiz & Dick and I Know Who Killed Me, she’s been more involved in the tabloids than starring in films. On the advice of Oprah, she got back to work and made the reality show Lindsay, did stage work in London, was a judge on the Australian Masked Singer and started opening beach clubs in Greece where she did another reality show, Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club. Now, Netflix has given her a multi-movie deal and it’s already paid off, as Falling for Christmas has had great ratings for the streaming platform and the next film she plans on doing is another romantic comedy, Irish Wish.

I may have said it before, but my dream for Lohan is to follow the career of Carroll Baker and head to Italy to make giallo movies with Umberto Lenzi, but sadly this is no longer an option. And if you read my review of I Know Who Killed Me, you already know that she’s done well in a psychosexual murder mystery.

That means that Falling for Christmas is a let-down for me, but I get it. It’s a more successful career path making tried and true romantic holiday movies than it is having a masked killer haunting you through Rome, catching light across your eyes with the glint of a razor blade.

But hey — Lohan does well as spoiled heiress Sierra Belmont — daughter of ski resort owner Beauregard (Jack Wagner from the soaps and the singer of “All I Need”) — and when she’s in a skiing accident and loses her memory, she goes Overboard on ice with nice guy Jake Russell (Chord Overstreet from Glee).

Speaking of singing soap opera stars, this was produced by Michael Damian.

The debut movie from director Janeen Damian, thsi was written by Jeff Bonnett and Ron Oliver, wjho wrote Prom Night II: Hello Mary Lou and wrote and directed Prom Night III: Last Kiss. That’s probably the one surprise of this movie which delivers exactly what you want it to, including Lohan recreating the time she sang “JIngle Bell Rock” in Mean Girls and, much like Just My Luck, overflowing a washing machine and falling in love with a guy named Jake.

I don’t begrudge Lohan getting to get a comeback. Here’s hoping that one of these Netflix movies is a remake of So Sweet, So Dead.

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