JESS FRANCO MONTH: Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula In Eight Legs to Love You (1998)

This feels like worlds colliding as Jess Franco not only got Michele Bauer (Beverly Hills HighChickboxer) and Linnea Quigley (do I have to even give you any of her numerous credits?) in this movie, but he pairs them with Analía Ivars, Pamela Sheppard and his muse, Lina Romay. This made me beyond excited, even if the final product is, well, a One Shot Jess Franco movie.

Lina is Tarantula, a woman who seduces other women and traps them in her web so she can show up in her spider form, which is basically a stuffed spider toy with her head superimposed upon it. It’s gleefully one of the worst effects I’ve ever seen.

Sheriff Marga (Bauer) is the kind of cop that only wears a bikini and holster with a leather jacket and I think that perhaps my dislike for the police is misplaced. Maybe not, as she’s convinced that everyone but the real criminal is repsonsible, like Mari-Cookie (also Romay) and mother and daughter team Teri and Amy (Quigley and Amber Newman from Lust for Frankenstein and Pleasurecraft).

There’s a moment in this movie where we see how Tarantula was conceived from the POV of inside a vagina that gets spider eggs laid within it. I’ve never seen that before.

The only bad thing I can say is that somehow, Jess Franco had Linnea in a movie, didn’t get her nude and she then did a naked commentary track for the DVD. That’s really something.

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