This movie starts with a female weightlifter* luring a guy into the gym showers with the promise of sex, then she and her friends shave his head as she laughs. Trust me, if young Sam had seen this in 1981 — he would have been nine — he would have had yet another obsessive crush.

Robert Freeman directed one movie. This is it. He also was the negative cutter on True Blood and the absolutely deranged movie The Forest. It was written by Roger Stone — not the right wing maniac but instead the writer of A Night at the Magic Castle, Lethal Pursuit and Paradise Motel. He also wrote several of the songs in this movie** — “Goin’ All The Way,” “Love or Nothing at All,” “No Time Like Now,” “Secret Hideaway,” “She’s a Bad Girl” and “Hot Spell” — as well as music for Talk Dirty to Me: Part 2, Bodies In Heat, Adult 45 Volume 1 and An Unnatural Act. He also wrote the song “Get Even” from Gymkata. He was joined by Jack Cooper, who was not Jackie Cooper.

Artie wants to sleep with his girlfriend Monica and she won’t give in, so they break up, because high school. Actually, because guys, too.

There’s also a big beefy dude named Bronk who is played by Joshua Cadman, Johnny Big Head from Surf II and you should really just go watch that movie instead of this movie. He was also Spike in Angel and yeah, you should watch that instead, too.

The movie ends at a Sadie Hawkin’s Dance, which was an invention of Al Capp in the comic strip Li’l Abner. This dance is one where the girls ask the guys and yet another invention by the high school elite to remind geeks why they must remain in their caste, unasked to the party and home playing Dungeons & Dragons and listening to Grim Reaper. Oh, that was me? Yes it was.

You can watch this on Tubi.

*Seeing as how this is a guy-centered movie, her only name is weightlifter in the credits.

**He was joined by Richard Hieronymus on some of these tracks. He also composed the music for Lethal Pursuit, as well as The Forest, Sweater Girls, The Love Butcher, Amanda By Night and more.