Rollergator (1996)

Remember Donald G. Jackson?

From the man who shat out Roller BladeRoller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force, The Roller Blade Seven, The Legend of the Rollerblade Seven and Return of the Roller Blade Seven — and well, Hell Comes to Frogtown is pretty good — comes the affront to humanity known as Rollergator.

P.J. Smith is a teenage girl tries who is trying to help a small, purple-colored, jive-talking alligator as he attempts to escape from the clutches of a greedy carnival owner played by Joe Estevez. Along the way, they meet a swamp farmer played by Ed Wood alum Conrad Brooks (he somehow survived being in Plan 9 From Outer SpaceThe Sinister UrgeBride of the Monster and The Beast from Yucca Flats and yes, I realize that Coleman Francis directed that last one).

This movie has it all. Carnivals. Dark ninjas. Frogface. Roller blade mama. Pure pain. Forced humor. Roller skating gators. Sports bras. And it’s all for kids.

Erin O’Bryan, who plays Roller Blade Mama and would also play Madame Zora in Baby Ghost, a movie with nearly the same cast and crew, appeared in plenty of Playboy lingerie VHS tapes. No one else really ever appeared anywhere else in this movie, despite the promise — or threat — or Rollergator 2 in the end credits.

You can watch the Rifftrax version of this film on Tubi.

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