Where do movies take me? My lord, sometimes they take me to auteur projects like this one, by Paul Matthews, all about how a unicorn can fix up people’s lives. Oh David Warner, you deserve better. Joe Penny, too. And man, as much fun as I make of George Hamilton showing up in movies that are horrifyingly bad — Sexette, Evel Knievel and Madusa, I’m looking at you — even he deserves better than this. Man, even Christopher Atkins — The Blue Lagoon anyone? — deserves better!

Polly and her grandfather’s tranquil lives get nutty when her favorite mare dies. Yes, if you’re getting this movie for a kid that loves horses, please know that a horse dies giving birth right off the beginning.

That said, it gives birth to a unicorn that everyone wants to steal. The rest of the film concerns Polly and her friend Toby trying to save it. Want to know how bad this is? Rifftrax hasn’t just taken on one Paul Matthews film. They’ve also taken on The Fairy King of Ar and Berserker, so the guy definitely has an audience. Perhaps not the one he wants, but an audience nonetheless.

You can watch this on Tubi with and without help from Rifftrax. It’s also on Amazon Prime.