Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom (2013)

Inhalator II, Mazathoth and Wolf-Rami are Nightsatan, doomed to wander the nuclear-irradiated fjords of Eastern Finland in the year 2034. Calling themselves Nightsatan, these synthesizer warriors work musical rituals in order to maintain what is left of their sanity in the face of the endtimes.

Seriously, whoever made this movie is inside my head. Imagine Warriors of the Wasteland infused with the music of Goblin or John Carpenter, then turned into an art project.

Our boys — or whatever they are — in Nightsatan end up saving a fierce warrior woman twice from a musical tyrant and her android son. Along the way, there’s plenty of synth, cannibalism, nudity and gore.

How can one even explain Nightsatan themselves? Coming from Turku, Finland, they’re at the forefront of the post-apocalyptic laser metal genre. You can learn more about the band at their official site. You can also buy the soundtrack here.

Everything they do is inspired by Italian post-apocalyptic movies. I have no idea why I am not in this band as their lead singer. That should tell you how I feel about this movie — it’s completely and utterly awesome. Recently, I shared with someone that I was sad that I feel like I’ve seen every great post-apocalyptic film and will never have a first-time viewing experience again. Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom happily proved me wrong.

You can watch the full film right here, but a warning. It’s totally Not Safe for Work.

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