There are three things you need to know: A coven of witches is aiding and abetting wives as they murder their husbands. A slacker has transformed a pizzeria into a video rental shop, years after it would have been a good business decision. A lonely soul ends up in a doomed romance with a serial killer. You have 97 minutes to figure all that out, but along the way, there will be metal shows, tons of dudes rocking Samhain shirts, Iron City beer, women who will kill you in your sleep and no shortage of noise, both musically and all over the picture.

Sure, this looks like 90s SOV, but unlike so many people who steal that style, this feels earned and lived in. 

In this blackened world, we meet Vi (Morrigan Milam), who is in a doomed relationship but has also fallen hard for Clover (Zoe Angeli), who works in an occult store and may be part of the coven. Vi is desperate to save her connection to her lover, but Clover gives her a potion that addresses that problem in a grimy, vomit-inducing way. Soon, she’s swept in, taken Vi off her feet and brought her into her world. Vi and Clover feel like people you’d actually see at a mid-week metal show, not caricatures.

I really think that this was made for me. Did I get so high one night that those rituals I do in my basement really worked out and I got a film with an Acid Witch cameo and Tina Krause walking into the frame? Why is her hair so perfect forever? How can a movie straddle being exploitation yet have lesbians in it that feel like anything but a fake exploitation male gaze BS disaster? Throw in some dick mutilation, gloomy girls in Misfits leather jackets haunting cemeteries, and people who don’t just know what W.A.V.E. Productions is but bought the t-shirt, and you have something beyond.

I would 200% make mixtapes for everyone in the cast and crew, but I think we have all the same albums.

Movies like this give me hope. This wasn’t made. It was summoned.

The Blu-ray release of Coven of the Black Cube includes behind-the-scenes clips, outtakes, and a commentary track with writers Brewce Longo, Zoe Angeli, Josh Schafer, and DP Michael DiFrancesc. You can get it from MVD.