“When workaholic Ty Bounds retires after 35 years as a computer programmer, he seeks ways to spend his time serving God. Following the Holy Spirit’s lead, he returns to college to wage war against secular humanism and mentor a new generation in truth-seeking.”

There’s no way I wasn’t watching this. 

Gramps, or Ty, is played by this film’s writer, Donald James Parker. His returning to school as an untraditional student is seen as an aberration. But Ty isn’t going to school to learn. He’s going to teach, which means sitting in biology class and calling everyone out for speaking about evolution. This causes Professor Tucker (Carol Anderson) to keep asking him out and even sexually assault him at one point. 

Ty fucks, but Ty doesn’t fuck, as the kids say.

Ty is very realistic. Every old right-wing religious person I know is always looking for an opportunity to start talking about what’s wrong, even if they’re in charge and, as old white men, rule the world already. At one point, during a chess match, Ty goes off about fluoride in the drinking water, which he says causes cancer and fibromyalgia. No one asked Ty. They are playing chess.

Ty also has a roommate named Brad (Rusty Martin), who starts dating a lapsed Christian who loves to drink. She does what a few kids do every year at CMU and the major colleges in Pittsburgh. She drinks so much — 20 shots of Everclear, if we’re to believe this movie — that she dies. That’s because kids like this didn’t drink in the woods, running from cops. Drinking seems cool, right? Not where I grew up, as you run through mud and water while searchlights are all over you, and you want to puke, but you can’t get caught. If you can stay that aware, you never drink yourself to death. You just became a lifelong alcoholic. 

They then bring her back to life.

As Gramps says, “I used to think that universities were meant to teach us how to think, but I’m beginning to realize that they’re trying to teach us what to think.” 

This movie hits too hard; it’s too much like what the world would become in the decade after its release: a nation of Gramps who have all done their own research. Then, the academic bastards kick Gramps out of school, and he surmises, “I guess the devil didn’t want me here.”

Oh Lord, why have you deserted me? I just learned that this is a sequel to another movie, In Gramps’ Shoes. 

Now I have to watch that.

You can watch this on Tubi.