18. A Supernatural Shark Movie

When your movie starts with a nun sacrificing someone and asking for Satan to send her an avenger, you know I’m going to like it. And when the devil sends a shark, you know I’ll love it. And the nun is named Linda Blair? Man, Donald Farmer, you want me to marry your movie.

Ally, Lauren and Emily go on vacation in Paris Landing, TN. There, shark bites end up possessing them, even though all they want to do is join a sorority. When you get possessed by a shark, in case you didn’t know, you get shark teeth.

This ends with 11 minutes of credits and 5 minutes of a woman looking at stuffed sharks in a gift shop, which seems very ASMR and chill after the hour of nudity and shark attacks we’ve lived through.

The idea for this seems so good; the open and close with the nun are great, and everything in between is painful. Alas — shark movies need more Satan.

You can watch this on Tubi.