October 1: A Scary Sports Film

“An Alien Force Came To Conquer – They Had No Idea This Bunch Was In Town.”

I think they made this movie for me.

Directors Luke Lantana, Harold McConnell and Robert Pralgo (who also made the documentary After Wrestling) and writers Nathan McMahan, Frank Tobin and Ray Lloyd (former WCW wrestler Glacier and one of the stars of this movie) have put together an alien invasion movie where only old pro wrestlers can save the day. In fact, Lloyd and Steve Luther Williams, who was also in WCW as Luther Biggs, wrote the story.

The cast includes Lloyd as Jock, the main hero; Luther as the wrestling Elvis Burnin’ Love (Biggs was also Disgraceland in TNA); Tonga “Haku/Meng” Fifita as King Tonga, Ernest “The Cat” Miller as Mack Brown and Larry Zybysko as The Legend. They head out on the Blood and Thunder Tour in an RV, trying to save money for a sober living facility. This brings them to meet old friends like Padge (Diamond Dallas Page), Rusty (David “Gangrel” Heath), Hammer (Stan “The Lariat” Hansen), AEW wrestler Anna Jay, NWA wrestler Kahagas, former member of Raven’s Flock Ron Reil (also The Yeti in WCW) and Alexander the Great (Nicholas Logan), a youngster who keeps bragging that he booked the Tokyo Dome.

We can argue if wrestling is a real sport, but this is the kind of movie where Meng sings a song about the Tokyo Dome, where a pizza-eating contest turns into a fistfight, and Stan Hansen randomly shows up, where green-eyed aliens are unstoppable, and where aging indy wrestlers can shrug off bullets. And not a one of them has a fanny pack filled with painkillers or a rat in each town. But why argue realism when this is a science fiction wrestling movie? I was kind of hoping that DDP would come back like Santo, pulling out a flamethrower out of his car and turning the battle when all is lost.

The end hints that these wrestlers also fought a skunk ape. Make that movie. Now.

Also, Missy Hyatt super randomly shows up in the final battle, and no one goes, “What the hell is Missy Hyatt doing here?”

Like pro wrestling itself, this is dumb yet entertaining. For all my years on the road, I never had to fight aliens, but I would hope Hansen and Missy would always be close by to help.

You can watch this on Tubi.