Sept 1-7 John Waters Best of the Year Week: To be fair, these movies aren’t ALL funny, but JOHN WATERS is funny. He’s become more of a writer and public commentator these days. Still, he helps keep the arthouse from taking itself too seriously with his annual top-ten lists, while celebrating the comically serious.

I’m Sam and my kink is movies where Nicole Kidman gets railed.

Yeah, I said it.

She’s totally not my type. She’s too wealthy, too skinny, too elite. Yet I love that this phase of her career has been in shows like Big Little Lies, where she Facetime sexted her abusive husband before shoving him down the steps (spoiler, yeah) and Nine Perfect Strangers where she had both male and female lovers, as well as in movies, like when she urinated on Zac Effron in The Paperboy (well, it was a jellyfish sting, but let us live), pretended to be knocked out so her husband could indulge his kink in The Killing of a Sacred Deer and reminded us that “Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this.”

Maybe I like it when rich and famous people do scandalous things.

Babygirl is another one of those movies where a gorgeous woman like Nicole Kidman is bored with sex with a handsome man like Antonio Banderas and ends up hooking up with a way too young boy who doesn’t understand the difference between being a dom and being a jerk, ala 50 Shades of Grey. She gives her the sexual experience that she’s only seen on Pornhub when she’s frigging herself, when her husband finishes too quickly.

Anyways, in this, she plays CEO Romy Mathis, whose husband Jacob is a theater director. She ends up hooking up with her intern, Samuel (Harris Dickerson), who immediately becomes a jerk when he visits her family, disrespecting her boundaries. He also keeps threatening her job to get her to say what he wants her to say, which is another way of just being a jerk instead of being a dom.

Directed and written by Halina Reijn (Bodies Bodies Bodies), this has the kind of empowerment that finds Kidman on all fours like a dog, which unlocks her ability to tell her husband that he’s never gotten her to orgasm, but then he does. Still, then she’s really thinking about her younger former lover playing with his dog. Man, that needle drop of “Father Figure” was way too on the mark, huh?

Kidman is good in this, and the idea of choosing between the life of power that you’ve built and the sex that you really want. Or maybe when you’re rich, you can have everything you want. Also, I think it’s hilarious that Samuel has a bad haircut and mumbles much of what he says, but he has a powerful woman fawning all over him. Whatever it takes to unlock what you’ve trapped inside, I guess.

If anything, this movie has given us Nicole Kidman angrily texting to the tune of “Deceptagon” by Le Tigre.

John Waters said of this, “Okay, heteros are cutting edge this year, too. Nicole Kidman continues taking big chances in her career, and she deserves our salute. Here, she howls, she moans. She’s a verbal power-bottom cougar at the top of her business-executive career who meets a dominant, lowly intern top who makes her lap up milk from a bowl like… like… well, like a pussy.”