Let me suggest that if you’re flying to Texas, take the time to watch as many movies on the plane as you can. I’d wanted to see Reagan for some time and figured there was no better way to watch it than on an iPhone screen while trapped thousands of miles above the Earth, wedged between two people at 6:10 AM, while all I had to eat was packages of Biscoff cookies delivered by air hostesses.

Based on Paul Kengor’s 2006 book The Crusader: Ronald Reagan and the Fall of Communism, this starts as Russian politician Andrei Novikov (Alex Sparrow) arrives at the home of former KGB agent Viktor Petrovich (Jon Voight) to learn why America defeated Communism. But did we? Oh well — let’s just go with it, right?

Ronald Reagan (Dennis Quaid; also Tommy Ragen and David Henrie when he was a kid) is the son of a mean drunk and a saint (Jennifer O’Neill!) who becomes a born-again Christian, lifeguard, radio announcer and, eventually, movie star. Despite losing his status as a leading man, he becomes the President of the Screen Actor’s Guild and battles the commies as they try to take over Hollywood. Horrible people like Dalton Trumbo (Sean Hankinson) and union bosses. This costs him his marriage to Jane Wyman (Mena Suvari), but he soon rebounds into the arms of Nancy (Penelope Ann Miller) and begins his political career.

Along the way, we get cameos from all sorts of Hollywood stars, as if this were The Greatest Story Ever Told 2K24, but instead about Reagan. Robert Davi? You’re Leonid Brezhnev. Olek Krupa, the bad guy from Eraser and Home Alone 3? Gorbachev. Dan Lauria is Tip O’Neill. Lesley-Anne Down is Margaret Thatcher. C. Thomas Howell as Caspar Weinberger. Pastor George K. Otis, who foresaw that Reagan would become President if he “walked uprightly” before God? It’s Pat Boone, in a scene with Chris Massoglia playing Pat Boone, that threatens the space-time continuum. Darci Lynn, who has been credited with the revival of ventriloquism, is a drowning girl. Kevin Sorbo is a holy man! Scott Stapp from Creed is Old Blue Eyes! What? Yes!

John G. Avildsen died before he could make this. The director of Joe, Rocky and A Night in Heaven? You have no idea how much I wish that had happened. Instead, Sean McNamara, the man who made Bratz, came in.

The first cut of this was 3 hours and 40 minutes, and yes, I always complain about long movies, but I want that version. Give us The Gipper cut. My favorite part of this, however, is the people being mean to Reagan montage, as people hold up Silence=Death si, guns and see most of the Genesis video for “Land of Confusion.”

Regan was shot in Oklahoma due to a state tax rebate launched in 2020, as well as lighter COVID-19 restrictions. For some reason, there was a COVID-19 outbreak amongst the crew during the shooting, which used the Temple of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry as The White House. Nothing to see there.

The soundtrack to this is something else. There’s contemporary Christian artist — and Youngstown, OH native and member of Glass Harp — Phil Keaggy playing “Sweet Child O’ Mine;” Bob Dylan covering Cole Porter’s “Don’t Fence Me In;” Robert Davi singing Lee Hazelwood’s “This Town” and “Nancy With the Laughing Face;” a Clint Black take on “Take Me Home, Country Roads;” Scott Stapp’s “Swinging on a Star” and Gene Simmons performing “Stormy Weather.”

Kitty Kelly’s sexual revelations about Nancy Reagan never come up. And Scott Baio isn’t in this. Otherwise, 200 stars out of 5.