Softcore Smorgasbord (August 4 – 10) All of the movies on this list have at one time or another been available through Something Weird Video. I’m sure I’ve missed some but many of them are still available on their website (until the end of 2024). These are their vintage softcore movies listed under categories with ridiculous names like: Nudie Cuties, Sexy Shockers, Sexo a-go-go, Twisted Sex, and Bucky Beaver’s Double Softies.

Directed by Irwin Meyer (who wrote the Hollywood Babylon TV series) and written by Alexander Panas, this is quite literally about a terror-filled post-wedding between Lilli (Abbey Heller) and Emile Duvre (Robert Parsons). People start dying and the killer could be anyone from Emile to his servant Hajmir (Vincent Petti), his mistress Helene (Beverly Lane), or his brother Max (Panas). It could also be any of the maniacs that Emile hangs out with or perhaps the person who keeps calling and hanging up.

This movie was filmed in the home of Sepy Dubronyi, a Hungarian born sculptor who fled to Cuba and then to the U.S. He was famous for sculpting celebrities, like his former fling Anita Ekburg. He had plenty of famous women, including Linda Christian (the first Bond girl in the TV version of Casino Royale), Brigitte Bardot and Ava Gardner.

The tagline promises “A honeymoon of ecstasy turns into a nightmare… Shock upon shock brings a thrilling, chilling blood-curdling tale to the screen!” I have no idea what that script was, because this really has no plan, feeling like a Miami based void where characters appear and fade away at whim. It’s also known as Orgy of the Golden Nudes, The Golden Nymphs and Orgies, which are great titles, but again have nothing to do with the actual film.

Lilli says at one point, “Even in my dreams, I hadn’t dreamt of it as wonderful as this. For me, it was a stairway to heaven, and Emile’s eyes were filled with stars.” That’s before she’s almost killed by a sculpture while trying to swim and having to hear her new husband exclaim, “The circle leads from life to death. The power of life is the power of death. And I have that power, to take life from death and immortalize it forever. That’s why I had to kill, to give life to my statues.”

This is the kind of movie that lunatics will enjoy. Like, well, me.

You can watch this on Tubi.